My Son Has Two Mamas.

May 12, 2019

"He is mine in a way that he will never be hers. He is hers in a way that will never be mine. And together, we are motherhood."

                                                                   -Desha Woodall

 

That's our little Calvin Harley being held by his other mama.

Yes, she is his bio mama but she is soo much more than that and always will be. I don't always feel the need to attach 'bio' to her name because I feel like "bio mom" implies she carried him to term, popped him out, and poof... that's it.

No.   

She is Calvin's mama. Period.  And I am too.

 

My son has two mamas. 

 

This picture... breaks me. It was taken just minutes before she handed her son to us, entrusted him to us. It was taken after she explained to Mike and me what position he prefers for sleeping, how to gently stroke his forehead to soothe him (in fact, her and her partner referred to his FOURhead as a threehead because it was so tiny), and yes, how often he poops. This was (and is) her son. This wasn't just a child she had birthed and decided to 'give away' people. This was and is the most precious thing in her entire life and she made the toughest choice she could out of pure love for him. The strength she had to make that decision is something I cannot put into words. I do not have that kind of strength. Calvin will. And I will always remind him who he got it from. 

 

Let me continue to brag on Calvin's other mama for a minute: 

She is brilliant. She has two associate degrees, a bachelor degree, and is a full-time paramedic. Now pick your jaw back up off the ground.

She is a great partner. You should see her and her boyfriend together. They have the rapport, banter, and commitment that make other couples jealous. 

She is beautiful. I mean, just look at Cal (and picture longer hair with a few years added on).

She is involved. We have seen her and her boyfriend since bringing Calvin home and will again next month. We text multiple times a month and she is always quick to respond with her adoration for him. 

She's hilarious. She has a knack for storytelling. 

She is honest. If she says it, I believe it. It's just the type of person she is.

She is strong. Soo fucking strong. I mean mentally & physically. 

She... is... SELFLESS. Calvin will always understand that she put his needs and his future ahead of her own. 

 

This is Calvin's mama. She's also his bio mom. I have no doubt that Calvin will grow surrounded by her love for all his years to come and I am so grateful to take part in it. 

 

 

 

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